Helloo fuket...!!

PATONG, PHUKET

Fat-bitches from England are s*cks!!

Finally, i made it up for a short hols in Phuket. Bought the flight tickets 5 days prior to my flight. It was impromptu. Initially, i only planned for a simple trip to Port Dickson. Was thinking, it surely be nice to relax by the beach. But, something went wrong. I was angry, seriously angry. It was my plan for months to get a room at a resort with the help of nas. But it turned out to be someone else's trip. Oh btw, yep she spoilt it. 

uh-uh i seem to forget things happened in phuket. Oh Mieza, just list down whatever's in mind!

Bangla Road, Patong

So, intan n i made a crazy decision. We headed to PWTC simply to usha tix for nov/ dec trip. But we were bloody excited plus i was angry about the initial plan to PD, so i bought the tix instantly. It was my first trip ever with intan. THough we've been friends for long time, we never had any trips together. We doubted that our relationship could survive during the trip. We two are two different persons with completely different personality. We knew each other quite well, that if we would have argued over something, there cud be another world war! So, this trip was a sort of a test. If we dun survive, it shows we dont connect that well, and we might not be best friends anymore. Little arguements could really trigger me to get on the nerve. So, we agreed, no matter what happened in phuket, stayed in phuket. Everything went well on the whole. I didn't care what she 

looked for, neither her. As long as, we keep an eye on each other. 

Our room- Patong Bel'aire resort

SO, we got a good room in Patong Bel'aire Resort. we spent 3 days two nights there. And we didnt waste a single minute. THe moment we arrived, we knew where we should head to. I had copies of the town's map in hands and studied them. BANGLA ROAD. YEs. THat was the party place that people talked about. Heaps of bars and nightclubs along the road, prostitutes, hot-white-stupid guys, lady boys, cheap drinks...woaah..i went mad!! So, we browsed through the bars, and we settled down. We had a gud fun! we spent until 4 am in the morning before headed back to our room!! I felt wasted and couldn't lay my head down. ..

Woke up at 8 in the morning. It was raining, so we had our breakfast before we went around town. I was sooooo stupid to leave my swimmers back in Malaysia. So i had to buy a new pair of them. We went shopping some souvenirs and lepaking at one big mall until the rain stopped. It was 5 pm, that we finally made our way to the beach. So, we walked through Bangla Road. Damn, it was happy-hour. We quicken our steps to the beach, was hoping to mandi-manda. But it was dissapointing to see the water was dirty cause of the pouring rain, plus it was already late. So, we had a stroll for few mins, took some pics, before we returned to the ro

om to change clothes for our next agenda! Happy-hour session. Aussie Bar, that was my pick. I like the bar because it was like the real aussie! with the country songs and aussie env. We had our dinner and some drinks before started conversations with other ppl. 

The Aussie Bar. This Thai guy is sebok!

I watched some guys played pool. Tangan kaki dah gatai. Cant sit still. SO, i put my name on the list. hoping to play with the winner of previous round. YEAY!! won over two games!  THe mat saleh guys looked frustrated, cause they lost to a girl  *wink*. Talked to an old man accompanied by his two sons from ENgland. One's underage and another's sooo goofy. But we get along. At 12 midnight, we headed to the Channel [V] nightclub nearby. It was more into r n b and hip hop music. I wasn't that pissed. SO, not exactly in the mood to do anything. Matty, the English guy was already wasted. Intan was gone with my smoke. I just sat back and enjoyed the music. 

So, i turned to the next table and initiated a conversation. The two guys were nice. One was a Swiss and one was an aussie. SInce im familiar with Australia, and ive got a Swiss friend, we had a lot to talk about. After an hour, we were off to 'Hollywood', another nightclub. Intan had her own agenda, so she took our room key and went away. I stayed with these males because it was only 2 am!! plus, the night was still young, despite the fact that i had to be on the boat at 7.30am to Phi Phi Island!!!! i wasn't in the mood to flirt, just wanted to have some company. and I was glad cause they were the nice ones, and treated me really nice. Not like others who thought i was a working girl. SO, i was taken care of these males. THe place was crowded. FULL OF P

ROSTITUTES!!! they thought i was on my 'shift' and even talked to me in Thai!!!!Hello, im not a Thai!! and wouldnt be proud to be one! would rather to be an Indian than a Thai!. At 4.30 am, decided to go home, wanted to catch some sleep. I didnt wanna feel sick on the boat. So, left the place and headed to Bel'aire. 

Went to bed at 6 and woke up at 7!!!. Intan and i were panic! We hadn't packed our bag and taken morning shower!. Saree, our tour guide waited for us. I could see he was a bit angry! I felt very sick through out the journey by the 4WD. I even felt sicker when i was on the boat! After an hour ride, we went snorkelling. The island was okay, intan claimed redang's corals are better than here. But , i still had fun. it was a big day, was really really exhausted. At 5, we were back on mainland. and waited for saree to drive us to the airport to catch our flight home. Bloody hell, 3 days without a break! It was worth it. Hoped the trip was longer! Now, back to reality!! 

On our way to Phi Phi Island

Im glad i was behaving. It determined that im no longer wild! Yoohoo!! and i can control my fun-needs. 

Intan and I survived the trip, and the relationship's stronger! We know our darkest secrets better than before! Love u bitch..Smmmooooccchhh!!!!

Att: Some pics have to be censored from public view..haphunka danke tschon thank you

come on get real.

Genting Highland was awesome. Bloody days at school made me drove up all the way to the top by myself. Well. shouldve driven up for long time since im staying in Batang Kali. So, heres the first time. the journey was quite okay. I guess i could drive up again.

The chilly evening reminds me of autumn in Brisbane. The breeze was so cool, the sunset was beautiful. So, Waited for Hazwan to be there. Im glad to haave such a great friend who would be anywhere u need them the most! Almost half hr waiting, we went in and had a fine dining at an italian restaurant. THis unplanned trip reminded me the last time i was here. Money is not a problem to me now. But it was last time.

I could eat or buy anything i want without having to worry a thing, or not wanting to spend money because i need to pay up for things for my boyfriend... I cant tell how REGRET I AM FOR BEING STUPID. I had to spend money on a boyfriend i used to have back then. He was bloody broke. I used the money my parents gave me and spent them most on him. i had to pay for the food, train tix, smoke, you name it. I was blinded and fooled. It really taught me a great lesson.

Now im really careful in selecting male friends, or boyfriend. Oh yeah girls, get real. Find a guy who can really afford to LIVE THEIR OWN LIFE. Never get a jerk who is pisau cukur. ( Well, the worlds upside down, guys do what girls do, vice versa). Make sure they are educated. If they are 25,with odd jobs and never tries to improve their lives. hell, just say gudbye!... A friend told me a bout a girl. She works in a bank. SHe has a bf. He's a mat rempit. One day, this mat rempit guy saw her pay slip. He was surprised to see that. He found that she earns a lot. So, he made a deal, by asking the girl to pay for his new car installment!..HAHA. PEGI MAMPOS. GUys always talk about their ego, how they reallly uphold that. so no one, especially girls would bring them down. But, in this case, where's his ego? has he lost it?malu la weh awek bayar makan, minum, rokok, keta.dont u feel humiliated? when u get married, sell your wife to some bapak ayam la. untung banyak dpt duit.

Guys, stop dreaming. come on get real. We dont live for money. But money is above all. You need money for food, drinks, house rent, car loan, medicine..etc. So, guys, work harder!

Bingung

bingung. been feeling very weird lately. perhaps some hormonal changes. Uhh. seriously i need a break from this place and people i know. i just need a day or two days off, spend some time by the beach, get wasted, have some smoke and lay under the moonlight watching over the stars.

i wonder whats on my mind right now. I cant think straight. i feel like i live in limbo, i keep on day dreaming. my body walks, but my mind wander off. nearly all the time. i nearly hit a road's divider last week, while driving to school. plus, its been 3 consecutive nights, that i woke up exactly at 4.48 am. and even i had more than 7 hrs of sleep, i felt like i didnt sleep at all. my mind works. it doesn't rest even for a min. ive been thinking too much of things i have planned in mind, but they all are in mess. urgh.
the effects: i slapped a boi, i yelled 'bangang', i flicked their ears, rotan and all. but, at the same time, i invited them home for some 'party', makan kfc and all. I have a mixed feelings towards these kids. i m not sure i love them or hate them for bein kids. ahh.im confused. i offended and am offended by a freaking stalker who said 'oi cikgu, ingatlah tuhan, pakailah tudung, jangan rambut warna'. here you go, HELL F*CK OFF! simply because i said he acts immaturely for a married guy with two children, and age 36!
who started it off? is it me or you? u bothered me, i said step back, u said im very egoistic. Pegi mampos. sukati aku. ko jaga anak bini ko. suro aku pakai tudung. tp nak ngorat aku jugak. babi tul.ko dah kawin. pandai2 jaga mata. mmg dunia ni penuh bitches. samada yg pakai tudung, tp dedah sana sini. or macam aku. janji nama pompuan, nafsu ko tetap naik. go home and wank urself or f*ck your own wife!

.......................................................................................................................................................................


caught up with intan and azrin last week. had some desert at d'lish, bangsar village.

and, caught up with azrin, nas and hadi just now, at pelita bangsar. mengidam sup ayam.

oh ya, he moves on. nas seeks my approval for this new girl. i say ok. she SEEMS to be nice. yeah, free- hair. but will see. if she's also a bitch, she doesn't wanna mess with a real bitch.

Commencement Day in IPBA dated 31st May 2008

Six years of studies finally come to the end about 6 months ago. So, we had a commencement day in IPBA on the 31st May. I had lost all the joy that i should had felt as a graduand. Yalah, supposedly few months after studies, dah grad, ni majlis dah basi. I attended for the sake of taking pictures with the robe, and let my parents witnessed their first daughter receiving a stupid scroll. Oh well, thought of catching up with others. Ceh. buang masa. Mostly act don't know..so i did the same la. Don't expect me to say hi, with u stucking up ur nose. Okay? So, i just stick with a few. and yea , ive been laughing my ass off throughout the ceremony cause both friends sitting next to me (Hani and Anas) been cracking jokes to me.Hehehe. I miss Anas.Oh well.

I wish this is not the last time I put on a robe. Hopefully i'll be able to further my masters studies!


Oh ya. Total amount paid for the day= RM 110 (graduand's fee)+ RM60 (guests' fee) + RM100 (pics and frame)+ RM20 (gas to and fro batang kali)= RM290!
Bloody expensive!!!

(from left: Ziera, Mieza, Intan and Nicky)

I'm a graduate now!

School Hols.

School hols was sucks at first. I ran away from home. ALthough i planned to stay home with family. But. Urgh. She did it again. What the hell is her probs??! She seemed like she wanted to get rid of me from this house.Fine. U want it. So, u deserve it! I made my decision to leave the house, and took my cat back to Batang Kali. My heart was really broken. I've been treated badly. I cried nights and days. When it came to Graduation Day at IPBA, I even went there on my own. My dad's freaking mad!. He just couldn't understand why I can't deal with my own sister!. I don't know what i did wrong (perhaps, a lot). BUt hey! im just not ALIM like her. SHe has to accept that!. I wouldnt wanna wear what she wears. I wouldnt wanna believe what she believes in. I have my own way of perceiving life!. Uh. After all, I still love her. I never criticise her for who she is, she should be thankful for that. IShe's a top 5 student in medic school, she's a 5 time-prayer, she fills her bank account with more digits! What else does she want? a bf?

Urgh.

Talking about bf, I would rather not marrying anyone! Jerks are everywhere. Damn it. I don't find quality guys, nor i have the quality. What I want, is a guy who can perfectly match our lives together. We don't have to have things in common. We don't have to like the same things in life (except sex, i guess its important to like it). All we need is sharing, (not money, bleh), sharing life, sharing thoughts, sharing ideas, sharing interests, sharing bed. err..that's it. NOT EVERY FREAKING THING!. It's about compromising, U say black, I say white. vice versa. u know...ying and yang...

For nearly 2 yrs, I still cry at night, everytime when he slipped into the thought.

Well, maybe Im not ready yet. I haven't completely moved on. He's been the guy. He's the best I've ever had. *sigh*. I've tried to forget the emotional parts. But can't erase him from my mind. We went through a lot in the beginning. He made me live in fantasy, since the first time we met. He was my fantasy!. and he still is! Everything we had was real things in a fantasy world.

How could i forget him? Ive had rebound relationship since after. My r/ships didnt work out after him.damn damn damn.

So, this is him and his gf. Both in white tops. They hooked up right after we broke up. Saying im jealous? yes of course I am! I would only be happy if he has a new gf soon!

FRASER'S HILL

Malaysia's little England, Fraser's Hill

Btw, ive had fantastic hols when Azrin came over for 3 days. If only we had some other people. we could have slumber party ;). So, one unforgettable experience. She paid for a freaking expensive gerai-style lunch in Kuala Kubu Bharu. THe food was good though. Then, we made our way up to Fraser's Hill, Pahang that's abt 30 km away The road was narrow and winding. We both felt dizzy. She puke. I didnt. We were so relieved when we arrived, and we cooled down, took some picts. after 40 mins we left the place. and guess what, Azrin puked badly when we made our way back to Batang Kali. Azrin was the second person who puked on my passenger seat! nasty nasty ;). Still, Loved you when u were here girl! She made my days!! smmooocchhh ; )

Azrin's pic of puking has to be censored. Sorry Azrin. He he

Kids and me.

How to describe these kids. Damn. I dont hate them for who they are. I just hate them for being kids. How could I force myself to love them. THey are adorable and cute. but my goodness. Otak bebal at times. Marahnye. (sorry kids, i dont mean to be nasty). I never liked this profession. But i have to do this. Urgh. life's sucks. I wish i could do sth else. Oh no. Everyday, im stressed out. migrain attacks me. Looking at the familiar face. Some kids are really devils. THey don't care what u say or do. THey live in their own world.

My year 1 kids

Oh well, PANAS NIEY!! oh my GB, i'm not sure whether you really are proactive or u're just being fussy. But i don't really like the way you run things in school. Im not sure whether its ur order or the slobs from PPD. But for sure, I live in hell at times when she's around. SHe used to express how she hates smokers. She even scolded the guard not to smoke within sch compound. But hey, the person who shares a life with her even smokes like a chimney. When we had our Hari Guru celebration at Kalumpang, He doesn't bother the kids, and us! He smokes in the tent. Urgh.

(well, at least. a credit for myself for setting up this place ;) ,

although kena push ngan GB for 2 months)

Thats why i need the comfort from my buddies. I need to get the hell out of these craziness! Hazwan's been there for me, doesn't matter on the weekends or weekdays (whenever he's not busy). Intan, hell i have to wait for her coming back to KL. Nas, he used to be busy, he still is, esp abt his 3 (or 4?) babies. Lucky, he got rid of a bitch. I used to be okay with her. But, since i knew she's been flirting with people ard me, i just wanna spit on her face. Ptuih ptuih.

BTN (Biro Tatanegara)

(Ray, Mieza and Tazzy) The first time Ray and I engaged in crappy conversation. We never talked much since the last 5 years! He's a sweet guy and he's taken. Damn. Haha

Haha. hilarious.pics of BTN!. How I wish i could have attended BTN course again. It was the only some sort of courses that i was willing to go. No preassure. But hell. still remember. We had a freaking big night out prior to BTN. So, i was hung over. Was I? can't remember. too many visits to ZETA BAR towards the end of the days ;). I remember that I liked a guy. Flirted with him (thanx nicky, for being my saviour). But somebody else stole him away. Hahahhaa.. Well, she's someone who's easily hooked up with someone. love them instantly. and could also forget them right away. Too fragile. I guess, she never looked for one-night stand. Me neither (pst: few nights stand ;).

School kids from SMKA tatau. Sexy woo. Suma nampak bra. Mampos tak layan.

New chapter of 2008

Finally, a new chapter of life has begun. The new adventure is in Batang Kali a.k.a Ulu Yam. A freaking strange place. Got myself a nice double-storey house all by myself. So, here's a pic of my new-empty house. Hell, life wouldn't be perfect without TV and ASTRO! Oh thanks to Intan and Nas for coming over to my new lovely crib... yeeehaaa~!

Nas and Intan made it up for the tea

Nas and I, in my messy room.

It wasn't a good news, as other friends in Selangor got posted to nearby schools. Instead, Im here in the jungle! or to be exact, ladang getah! I was just praying that it wouldn't be that tough for me. Hell, I never liked kids. So, I have to now! Well, the new chapter of life revolves around this freaking place.

Fingers crossed that I'll survive this year's task here!

It's not the first time

Oh no. its not the first time. How could I be so stupid? The previous blog wasn't updated for long time. Procrastinating has long been my best friend. Do I think that I could remember all the events that happen in my life? well. silly bitch. I am. What I have in mind now is killing myself softly with lotsa smoke. Seriously, smoking help me to ease out my feelings, and diets too ;).Well, Hail PALL MALL menthol!

Wer Bin Ich Wirklich für dich?

Wer Bin Ich Wirklich für dich?

Ich weiss nicht genau, was ich will,
das Leben gibt so viel her
Wo fang ich an?
Das Rad in mir steht niemals still,
ich treibe durch’s Häusermeer,
ich such‘ mich um weiter zu komm‘
Ich such‘ mich und lauf‘ mir davon
Wer bin ich wirklich
und wer bist du?
Mein Herz kennt den Weg nicht,
es kommt nicht zur Ruh‘,
wenn ich mich zweifelnd verrenn‘,
mich selber nicht kenn‘,
sag‘, wofür liebst du mich dann?
Wer bin ich wirklich für dich?
Was läuft für ein Film tief in dir,
ist in deinem Drehbuch noch ’ne Rolle frei?
Was hast du für Bilder von mir,
erkennt man die Liebe noch
als zweitauend teiliges Spiel, hm hm?
Ein Puzzel aus wirrem Gefühl.
Was ist das genau,
was ich von dir will,
was ist das genau,
was du für mich fühlst?

2006

finally, 2006 was over. damn i think that was the most challenging year ever in my life. too many upside downs. i found love, but its broken. tried to keep it, but its gone. for 10 months, its enough of us. we broke up cause of the distance. it was hard though. i was going through hell lotsa assignments…and bad days, sickness..and then a big shock ever. i think, its nearly 3 months i broke up. well anyways, im glad that i had the relationship. if it wasnt him, i wouldnt be in germany for twice. and i wouldnt get a damn great result for my final year. and i wouldnt know how it feels like to end up in the hospital *wink*. what a memory.

now, im still confused with my life. i dont know what/which is the reality that awaits for me. i cant wait to go through this year. i wanna find my way to get out of this shithole. i cant adapt myself to where i am right now. everynight and everyday, i have the illusion that im somewhere…but im holding on the goal that ive made. im gonna make it real about germany. a new guy has come into the picture. He’s been behind me, supporting me all this while….and he’s still there for me. i owe himm…i like him…he makes my days!. the time in germany during winter recently….ive had the best time in my life ;)..christmas, birthday and new year in europe…and last year was in australia..i feel soo lucky!.

although i cried so many tears for the past relationship, ive had big smiles with the new relationship ive gained. i thank him a million for that. i believe in a new life….wishing that everythings gonna be alright…..phew..one more year..hang in there mieza!..

Yeah, this is offensive

well, its funny hey, when people start telling you they heard rumours about you..Not a good thing, but hell, live with it. Im expecting people to talk about me. Be it my personality, attitudes, life, religion and stuff.

But damn, why these people are so farking busy body? Dont they have any other things to talk about?..Hmm..nasib lah…Aku dpt dosa, diorang pun dpt extra dosa..HAHA.. Hell people, i dont care what u do, im not gonna invade ur farking personal life. hmmm…
Ah, its been a while though im not blogging, well im blogging shits anyway.

I know people are still reading my blog for 2 reasons, first coz YOU are bored, second, coz YOU wanna find something HOT for ur bitching sessions, so, nothing really personal that i write here. Im here to tell u people, to warn u, to stay away from me. And if u are reading mine, u know it, u could tell it. Im giving it right to ur face.

Whats wrong if i have changed? Ada masalah ke? or what i have said is too offensive? So, what, im a muslim, u re a muslim. But i have my own way. And u have urs. Why bother?. Setakat pakai tudung, mulut celupar, perangai tak jaga…nak ckp pasal aku laks.

I have read somewhere, people said, ah walaupun yg pakai tudung tu buat jahat, belum tentu azab besar…tp yg tak pakai tudung tu buat jahat, confirm tempah nama kat neraka. Fark. What is that? Ur mentality is sooo much bounded by UR MALAY culture. I know some people who have such mentality. Though duduk oversea pun. Come on. If u dont like me, its fine. but dont judge me. Dont think that u are safe either. Laki pompuan sama je. Masuk lubang jamban. timbus pale flush sindri.

Now, i have few morons adding me and teasing me in my YM. dari dulu smp hari ni. Well, aku tau keja sapa…Dont think im stupid. Im warning ya, u will see what i’ll do to ya.
i guess this is the only craps that i could talk now. im damn sleepy. Puasa pun batal rasanya. Sbb hari ni tak ikhlas, sbb mulut aku dah jahat.

*P/s: wahai ‘kawan-kawanku’, wahai musuh-musuhku, wahai bekas budak-budak maahad…pegi main jauh-jauh.tp, kalo korang rasa hati korang tak busuk, dan korang rasa hati aku tak busuk. dtg duduk tepi aku, bagi tazkirah sket kat aku.(tazkirah yg berguna la, yg cam sial, boleh blah).

Last but not least, THANK YOU FOR READING ..hahahahahhahaa…

Times running out

Hell, another 5 more weeks for uni. Then lonngggg hols~~!!..damn it. loads of assignments yet in progress!!!..arrghh..ape nk jadi ni? malas betul. In 2 weeks time, ramadhan pulak. Tsk. ganti pun tak abis lagi…
aaaaaa~~~!!!..lucky one burden’s over…Now have to go through few more.Alahaii.bila nk abis?
Last night, went to the ‘merdeka’ dinner. not bad. but a bit messed up. lawak pun ada. The food? duhh…no comment. But, anyhooo (quoted from stewie, 2005, Family Guy season 4), had a great time last night. Isk.takmo ckp byk.bosan.
AAAHhhhhhhhhh….i miss Nilleeee~~!!!…wanna hug and kiss ya.

Mieza: a dead Butterfly

Dead butterfly in a happy garden.
Butterfly,
she’s beautiful, attractive.
lives in a world full of drama and fantasy.
full of fears and adventures.
never know what will happen in days ahead.
realize that her moment will come.
just dont know when.
she is dead. really dead inside.
Though she carries colourful attitudes,
but no one really cares.
All they do, is to get her, pull her down.
Her heart is pure. but too dark, too small to be seen.
she’s too young, too scared to be seen.
But she still flies high…
dont wanna be seen but wanna be recognized.
too bad, people take her for granted.
some try to lend her some wings.
she refuses.
She wanna be herself.
wanna survive with her own wings.
they broke her wings. she tries to get her wings back.
But the old wings could never be replaced. they took them away!
The garden, has never been better for her.
Too much obstacles to over come.
She just dont know.
dont know when she will be happy again in the HAPPY GARDEN.

Stupid

Today, i got a visitor, Ziera, coming here from Wellington for a short vacation. Im happy though. Havent seen her for more than and a half year. Mwah mwah girl. U are gorgeous than ever!..hehe

Have not had enough sleep lately and my brain is goona explode soon coz of the pedagogical stuff..Been working hard on it. I dont know, it should be easy, but yeah, there are things make it hard. But i wont give up. Still gonna work on it. I know it will worth it. Time will come. Friday: gonna go out clubbing and having some drinks with the girls. Looking forward to it.

Anyway, today i came across some other friends’ pages, cool. Many people have now shown their true colour. I dont mind though. It’s good.. At least they no longer act like a pretender. That i used to go through, being a pretender. Why do we need to be hypocrite? Just because to shut those bitches mouths? Maybe yes. It’s hard to show our true colours!!..but ..hmm…im impressed. *thumb’s up"…Haha..Maybe they become one of the DEVILS like me.

Yet, just one thing. I hate them. When i used to go through the stage of becoming a DEVIL, those people were the ones who’s been criticising about me. The way i dress up. My smoking habit. My social life. Everything. But.HAHA. there u go babes, u are going through what i have gone throughh lloooonnnnggggg time ago. Come on, u said u are positive, u are not judgemental. Hmm..i guess u WERE and NO LONGER now. so good on ya ;).

Actually, the main point is, dont talk about the ‘devilisation’ stage of some one. Coz, u will somehow will do the same shit. THough it wont be a big thing.
Zaaassss!.

Boredom...

Suddenly i feel like missing him so much. I feel alone and do nothing much lately. Am just having a quiet and easy life. EVeryday, wake up early in the morning…go to class..do chores, cook, eat, play worms, do uni stuff, then watch tv, dvds, sleep early. Those party-times gone. Friends left Oz for goods. Bf’s far far away. Others busy. Apart from having nas and leila as my companies, I would rather stay in my room and do my own things. sometimes, boredoms killing me. Feel like going up to the dance floor and be the queen. *sigh*.
Today, went to EKKA. Lucky me, since i realize i need to save up some money, i didnt spend much, Just for food and drink. Didnt play those stupid games or take any rides. Me and Sarah spent time visiting all the barns. the pigs and dogs were so cute…Had some pics with PIGS though. Looking at them, remind me of those ive seen slaughtered on the tv.Kesian. Tak pegang. HAram..HAHAHAHA. Ouh yeah, the dairy goats and lembu look so kesian. They were all skinny. Looked at how they pumped the milk out. Isk.. Terseksa. Feel like dont wanna buy milk anymore!!

I was amused by this one grandma and her son, got on the stage and started rapping. Damn. she’s old though, but acting like a young girl. And yes, we watched tis one latin dance and hip hop dance performed by a school of dance. Im impressed how the guys lead the girls. It was soo sexy and alluring. How I wish i could do latin. Perhaps, i will take the lesson.Haha. Yeah apart from that pole dance class that KJ and I saw on Queen Street mall,its more worth it. It takes two to tango …kalo pole dance, sorang je.tak best.

AAAhhhh. how i wish i could see my bf now. Missing him badly. Wanna hug him wanna kiss him. Since, i cant hug him now, my girls are the victims. HAHAha. But its not similar :(. They got boobs. So errr…feel weird. Hehe. But i would be glad of that if i would be a lesbo. Malangnya.tak. Haha.

Pink Dick or Needle Wang?

hmmm..somebody has been bugging my life lately. I dont know why. i dont even know him. But it seems like he’s now trying to put me down. Hell. I feel sorry for his life though. Hes like a lunatic living in a pathetic life. What does he know about my life? trying to be judgemental towards me.

Just because im living in my way, not portraying a proper MUSLIM, he could say im a kafir. having a non-MUSLIM guy, i am a kafir again. Saying im doing kafir, asking me about pink dick and stuff..duhhh…come on boy. u sound like a pervert. hmm…poor u boi..maybe ure a big boy having a needle wang? and need to wank more coz u aint got a girl?Haha.

i might not behaving like a real MUSLIM. and i dont live the way ISLAM wants me to do. What do u think? agree with that? of course u will…thats because ure too judgemental. thinking im living in a bad life and no longer a MUSLIM. Well, i could say that I accept ISLAM as the right way of living, but i dont have to tell ya what i do in my everyday life. God knows better. Well,i do hate most MUSLIMS. Why? because most of them are pretender,like u. Saying that this or that person is bad. But actually they themselves are bad people. Help nothing but make things worse.
Im acting normal. I am young, i am influenced. So do u. U are also normal. aren’t u? so, stop implying im a bad person. If ure really a good MUSLIM, you wont even have a peek on any of the girls’ pics (maybe thats inviting and alluring)…and u wont even have an account on this friendster. But, even if u have u might just wanna search for friends, dropping by and say hi. or even if u care bout them, drop a little good comment for them. See, ure normal like i am!

Im not trying to offend my other MUSLIMS friends. Im sorry if u hurt.But im not implying anything on any of my friends. They are good people. THose others, YES. I AM OFFENDING THEM. take it or leave it. U ponder urself why im saying so.

Pink Dick or Needle Wang?

hmmm..somebody has been bugging my life lately. I dont know why. i dont even know him. But it seems like he’s now trying to put me down. Hell. I feel sorry for his life though. Hes like a lunatic living in a pathetic life. What does he know about my life? trying to be judgemental towards me.

Just because im living in my way, not portraying a proper MUSLIM, he could say im a kafir. having a non-MUSLIM guy, i am a kafir again. Saying im doing kafir, asking me about pink dick and stuff..duhhh…come on boy. u sound like a pervert. hmm…poor u boi..maybe ure a big boy having a needle wang? and need to wank more coz u aint got a girl?Haha.

i might not behaving like a real MUSLIM. and i dont live the way ISLAM wants me to do. What do u think? agree with that? of course u will…thats because ure too judgemental. thinking im living in a bad life and no longer a MUSLIM. Well, i could say that I accept ISLAM as the right way of living, but i dont have to tell ya what i do in my everyday life. God knows better. Well,i do hate most MUSLIMS. Why? because most of them are pretender,like u. Saying that this or that person is bad. But actually they themselves are bad people. Help nothing but make things worse.
Im acting normal. I am young, i am influenced. So do u. U are also normal. aren’t u? so, stop implying im a bad person. If ure really a good MUSLIM, you wont even have a peek on any of the girls’ pics (maybe thats inviting and alluring)…and u wont even have an account on this friendster. But, even if u have u might just wanna search for friends, dropping by and say hi. or even if u care bout them, drop a little good comment for them. See, ure normal like i am!

Im not trying to offend my other MUSLIMS friends. Im sorry if u hurt.But im not implying anything on any of my friends. They are good people. THose others, YES. I AM OFFENDING THEM. take it or leave it. U ponder urself why im saying so.

Ozs.

Tuesday. went out with a buddy, whom i feel that hes like my own brother. maybe its the last time we met before we’ll catch up again in Malaysia. Damn, hes going back home very very soon. although hes the one leaving brissie, but i have this emotional breakdown. Realizing that its gonna be my turn soon, i dont feel like goin home yet.in 4 months time, Oz will be just a memorable place. Ive been having so much upside downs here. treasuring my own life. reflecting my own attitudes and stuff. Heres the place where i learn so much thing…be it good or bad things.Ive been through lotsa things here.

Today, had a conversation with the lady working at unilodge’s reception. she asked me where ive been and what ive done lately because she didnt see me for quite a long time. So,i told her ive been to germany and had a great time there, but i realize the fun time flew quicker!.

So, one thing she said that really made me realize about something in life. She mentioned that good things wont come easily. while we have it, we should enjoy it as much as possible. They would be gone soon and we dont realize that we would missed them and sometimes we took them for ganted.Though we can have it again, it wont be the same. Things changed. *sigh*..it’s true. I started reflecting what ive been through. Damn.

Anyways, ive improved my surviving skills.im proud of myself though because this place really challenged my credibility as a ‘warrior’ within myself. Tears and laughters. They all make me realize how important i am to keep on living. Good friends, good fun, good money…sigh…all will be gone as time flies. though memories remain, but still i wont have them anymore!. I think, sometimes, i took things for granted, in which i shouldnt.

yet, there are more to see. there are more things to do. to help me grow. all the experiences will make me a better person. bitches? talking about people? let them be. theyve never been in my shoes. They never knew what ive been through. They are just immature girls pretending they are soooo wise and know everything! instead they are just a bunch of loosers!. Or perhaps some people pretending they understand me, but they are not!.as if they could read people’s mind. Haha. Ouh yeah, those pack of wankers. Who are like bitches. Know nothing but shits. They belong to the same group. i dont give a damn anyway.

Now, ive gotta make the most out of it.3 months time. Shouldnt waste any. Come on mieza go!!!…
-appreciating every single thing means that u accept the God’s will-

news auf deutschland

There u go germany. I had a really great time there. I love the people, the environment ..ahhh everything. World Cup had spiced up the whole Germany!. so i was there at the right time. First arrived in Taipei airport (the most shittiest international airport ive ever been). Fark…6 hours there.its killing me. Then, Frankfurt. 13 hours flight. couldnt sleep, kept on thinking about what should i do when i first saw Nils. Yeah i was sooo glad to meet Nils again. He is more charming than ever. Next, 2 hr drive to baumberg.

Now, its nearly 2 weeks im back in brissie. I am missing germany soo much.especially my baby…mwah mwah luv u. It is pretty sad that i didnt make the most of it. I regret that we didnt spend much time together..damn it. Now, its been 8 months we are together..and the feelings grow more stronger. I love him even more than ever. I come to realize that he is the one ive been looking for. But time will tell. I’ve seen his life, and im satisfied.enough.


Anyway, world cup had made the people went crazy. Me? football? dont suit at all. But because of World Cup a.k.a Weilt Meister, i became one of football fans!. believe it or not, i was never able to kick a ball, but now, hahhaha…i am a good ball kicker(literally!).hehe…so, i went to see the games in Cologne, i think all of the matches were: germany vs sweden, germany vs argentina and Australia vs italy. The rest, quarter finals and final were at some friends’ places.

Damn, i cant believe how responsive the people were. Everywhere u go, u could see the spirit of football. thousands of people on the streets, here and there. I was kicked, pushed and stomped on everytime germany scored!.Anyhow, i was excited about it.
Damn, Dom in Cologne is really amazing, its like 509 steps up to the towers!!..my jaw dropped for few minutes. I am totally amazed!!..the view, especially the rhine river, was really really beautiful!.if it wouldnt be too hot….i would just take off my clothes and lay on the grass!..but yeah, germany was way too hot for me. im like a burnt meat!.

So, where did i go apart from cologne?…hmmm.yeah, duesseldorf (my favourite city)..i like Altstadt (means old town). the streets full of shops and bars and restaurants. i could spend hours alone, indulging myself with the food (pizza!!yeah), also shopping…its like a small little paradise!!!…hmm ok…next, is duisburg. here where i met an ex schoolmate a.k.a my good friend from malaysia. I envy her living in germany, how i wish it could be me!!.It is pretty sad, i didnt catch up often with her because shes busy with studies and stuff.

The people made me wanna write something about them. So here are the wonderful people ive met.
Tina, heike and marion are wonderful moms who made me feel so comfy there!. They are like my own mom…So, hang out with them couple of times. It was great. they treated me so well!. lukas? nils’ younger brother. i like him. He’s cool and he’s a singer! gut. Horst? he’s a great dad. I adore him for how he deal with the family. So, what can i relate him to nils..—>"like father like son"..hehehehhe…think about it..

I did catch up with some of Nils’ friends. They are wonderful and fun people. One funny thing, they address themselves as "arschloch" means asshole. I did unintentionally called them by that.
Marius? a sweet boy who i think is a funny guy, who could go crazy when he’s pissed. Mateusz? a german boi whos now look like an English guy with bald head. Flow? a good looking guy who drove us here and there when everyone’s pissed. Sven? a nice guy whom i went to watch football match at his place. Sveni? the farking tall guy!!..Pia? an ex of nils. kaya? a guy whos crazy about kungfu. Dobrawa? a sweet girl who happened to be kaya’s girlfriend. Bernd? the rich kid who worked his ass out and own a Merz. Shit. i cant recall everyone….Ouh yeahhh Sascha!!!! The punk boi who got striking red-blond hair. Ive been missing him because he was my buddy when he was in Oz. i love it so much to see him bubbly and crazy. I remember, the day we sat by the river drinking and stuff. me, nils, sascha and bernd. We both saw the most shiniest shooting star ever!!!….oh yeah, of course i wished something when it passed by!. definitely!.i hope my dream will come true!Amien.

yeah, sitting by the rhine is the most romantic thing ever!. Nils and I went there nearly every night on the last week i was there. Damn. We talked about shits and stuff, which is good. because, we didnt spend time discussing things properly like what we did on one particular night. Such a really mature- conversation. *sigh*..im missing him now.
Ouh yeah, another favourite activities : feeding the ducks & swans and walking through the English garden in Benrath. hehehe. romantic though.

Saw this roman old building. Im totally captured by the old buildings everywhere!. I cant believe that i have witnessed the old buildings…hundreds or perhaps thousands of years?….damn…first time though. Of course im like a korean who’s like "…whoooaaahhhh" all the time.
ah, too many things to write. Im a lazy ass. Okai. Bye for now.

A promise from me: I’ll be back in germany..Someday..soon!!…