Welcome to my world. Don't be fooled by my outlook. I might appear nice or slutty. but i dun care if u judge me. by bein judgemental, ure nothing better than me. You dont have to like me. You dont have to hate me. cause i dont give a f*ck...

Monday, August 28, 2006

Mieza: a dead Butterfly

Dead butterfly in a happy garden.
Butterfly,
she’s beautiful, attractive.
lives in a world full of drama and fantasy.
full of fears and adventures.
never know what will happen in days ahead.
realize that her moment will come.
just dont know when.
she is dead. really dead inside.
Though she carries colourful attitudes,
but no one really cares.
All they do, is to get her, pull her down.
Her heart is pure. but too dark, too small to be seen.
she’s too young, too scared to be seen.
But she still flies high…
dont wanna be seen but wanna be recognized.
too bad, people take her for granted.
some try to lend her some wings.
she refuses.
She wanna be herself.
wanna survive with her own wings.
they broke her wings. she tries to get her wings back.
But the old wings could never be replaced. they took them away!
The garden, has never been better for her.
Too much obstacles to over come.
She just dont know.
dont know when she will be happy again in the HAPPY GARDEN.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Stupid

Today, i got a visitor, Ziera, coming here from Wellington for a short vacation. Im happy though. Havent seen her for more than and a half year. Mwah mwah girl. U are gorgeous than ever!..hehe

Have not had enough sleep lately and my brain is goona explode soon coz of the pedagogical stuff..Been working hard on it. I dont know, it should be easy, but yeah, there are things make it hard. But i wont give up. Still gonna work on it. I know it will worth it. Time will come. Friday: gonna go out clubbing and having some drinks with the girls. Looking forward to it.

Anyway, today i came across some other friends’ pages, cool. Many people have now shown their true colour. I dont mind though. It’s good.. At least they no longer act like a pretender. That i used to go through, being a pretender. Why do we need to be hypocrite? Just because to shut those bitches mouths? Maybe yes. It’s hard to show our true colours!!..but ..hmm…im impressed. *thumb’s up"…Haha..Maybe they become one of the DEVILS like me.

Yet, just one thing. I hate them. When i used to go through the stage of becoming a DEVIL, those people were the ones who’s been criticising about me. The way i dress up. My smoking habit. My social life. Everything. But.HAHA. there u go babes, u are going through what i have gone throughh lloooonnnnggggg time ago. Come on, u said u are positive, u are not judgemental. Hmm..i guess u WERE and NO LONGER now. so good on ya ;).

Actually, the main point is, dont talk about the ‘devilisation’ stage of some one. Coz, u will somehow will do the same shit. THough it wont be a big thing.
Zaaassss!.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Boredom...

Suddenly i feel like missing him so much. I feel alone and do nothing much lately. Am just having a quiet and easy life. EVeryday, wake up early in the morning…go to class..do chores, cook, eat, play worms, do uni stuff, then watch tv, dvds, sleep early. Those party-times gone. Friends left Oz for goods. Bf’s far far away. Others busy. Apart from having nas and leila as my companies, I would rather stay in my room and do my own things. sometimes, boredoms killing me. Feel like going up to the dance floor and be the queen. *sigh*.
Today, went to EKKA. Lucky me, since i realize i need to save up some money, i didnt spend much, Just for food and drink. Didnt play those stupid games or take any rides. Me and Sarah spent time visiting all the barns. the pigs and dogs were so cute…Had some pics with PIGS though. Looking at them, remind me of those ive seen slaughtered on the tv.Kesian. Tak pegang. HAram..HAHAHAHA. Ouh yeah, the dairy goats and lembu look so kesian. They were all skinny. Looked at how they pumped the milk out. Isk.. Terseksa. Feel like dont wanna buy milk anymore!!

I was amused by this one grandma and her son, got on the stage and started rapping. Damn. she’s old though, but acting like a young girl. And yes, we watched tis one latin dance and hip hop dance performed by a school of dance. Im impressed how the guys lead the girls. It was soo sexy and alluring. How I wish i could do latin. Perhaps, i will take the lesson.Haha. Yeah apart from that pole dance class that KJ and I saw on Queen Street mall,its more worth it. It takes two to tango …kalo pole dance, sorang je.tak best.

AAAhhhh. how i wish i could see my bf now. Missing him badly. Wanna hug him wanna kiss him. Since, i cant hug him now, my girls are the victims. HAHAha. But its not similar :(. They got boobs. So errr…feel weird. Hehe. But i would be glad of that if i would be a lesbo. Malangnya.tak. Haha.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Pink Dick or Needle Wang?

hmmm..somebody has been bugging my life lately. I dont know why. i dont even know him. But it seems like he’s now trying to put me down. Hell. I feel sorry for his life though. Hes like a lunatic living in a pathetic life. What does he know about my life? trying to be judgemental towards me.

Just because im living in my way, not portraying a proper MUSLIM, he could say im a kafir. having a non-MUSLIM guy, i am a kafir again. Saying im doing kafir, asking me about pink dick and stuff..duhhh…come on boy. u sound like a pervert. hmm…poor u boi..maybe ure a big boy having a needle wang? and need to wank more coz u aint got a girl?Haha.

i might not behaving like a real MUSLIM. and i dont live the way ISLAM wants me to do. What do u think? agree with that? of course u will…thats because ure too judgemental. thinking im living in a bad life and no longer a MUSLIM. Well, i could say that I accept ISLAM as the right way of living, but i dont have to tell ya what i do in my everyday life. God knows better. Well,i do hate most MUSLIMS. Why? because most of them are pretender,like u. Saying that this or that person is bad. But actually they themselves are bad people. Help nothing but make things worse.
Im acting normal. I am young, i am influenced. So do u. U are also normal. aren’t u? so, stop implying im a bad person. If ure really a good MUSLIM, you wont even have a peek on any of the girls’ pics (maybe thats inviting and alluring)…and u wont even have an account on this friendster. But, even if u have u might just wanna search for friends, dropping by and say hi. or even if u care bout them, drop a little good comment for them. See, ure normal like i am!

Im not trying to offend my other MUSLIMS friends. Im sorry if u hurt.But im not implying anything on any of my friends. They are good people. THose others, YES. I AM OFFENDING THEM. take it or leave it. U ponder urself why im saying so.

Pink Dick or Needle Wang?

hmmm..somebody has been bugging my life lately. I dont know why. i dont even know him. But it seems like he’s now trying to put me down. Hell. I feel sorry for his life though. Hes like a lunatic living in a pathetic life. What does he know about my life? trying to be judgemental towards me.

Just because im living in my way, not portraying a proper MUSLIM, he could say im a kafir. having a non-MUSLIM guy, i am a kafir again. Saying im doing kafir, asking me about pink dick and stuff..duhhh…come on boy. u sound like a pervert. hmm…poor u boi..maybe ure a big boy having a needle wang? and need to wank more coz u aint got a girl?Haha.

i might not behaving like a real MUSLIM. and i dont live the way ISLAM wants me to do. What do u think? agree with that? of course u will…thats because ure too judgemental. thinking im living in a bad life and no longer a MUSLIM. Well, i could say that I accept ISLAM as the right way of living, but i dont have to tell ya what i do in my everyday life. God knows better. Well,i do hate most MUSLIMS. Why? because most of them are pretender,like u. Saying that this or that person is bad. But actually they themselves are bad people. Help nothing but make things worse.
Im acting normal. I am young, i am influenced. So do u. U are also normal. aren’t u? so, stop implying im a bad person. If ure really a good MUSLIM, you wont even have a peek on any of the girls’ pics (maybe thats inviting and alluring)…and u wont even have an account on this friendster. But, even if u have u might just wanna search for friends, dropping by and say hi. or even if u care bout them, drop a little good comment for them. See, ure normal like i am!

Im not trying to offend my other MUSLIMS friends. Im sorry if u hurt.But im not implying anything on any of my friends. They are good people. THose others, YES. I AM OFFENDING THEM. take it or leave it. U ponder urself why im saying so.

Wednesday, August 2, 2006

Ozs.

Tuesday. went out with a buddy, whom i feel that hes like my own brother. maybe its the last time we met before we’ll catch up again in Malaysia. Damn, hes going back home very very soon. although hes the one leaving brissie, but i have this emotional breakdown. Realizing that its gonna be my turn soon, i dont feel like goin home yet.in 4 months time, Oz will be just a memorable place. Ive been having so much upside downs here. treasuring my own life. reflecting my own attitudes and stuff. Heres the place where i learn so much thing…be it good or bad things.Ive been through lotsa things here.

Today, had a conversation with the lady working at unilodge’s reception. she asked me where ive been and what ive done lately because she didnt see me for quite a long time. So,i told her ive been to germany and had a great time there, but i realize the fun time flew quicker!.

So, one thing she said that really made me realize about something in life. She mentioned that good things wont come easily. while we have it, we should enjoy it as much as possible. They would be gone soon and we dont realize that we would missed them and sometimes we took them for ganted.Though we can have it again, it wont be the same. Things changed. *sigh*..it’s true. I started reflecting what ive been through. Damn.

Anyways, ive improved my surviving skills.im proud of myself though because this place really challenged my credibility as a ‘warrior’ within myself. Tears and laughters. They all make me realize how important i am to keep on living. Good friends, good fun, good money…sigh…all will be gone as time flies. though memories remain, but still i wont have them anymore!. I think, sometimes, i took things for granted, in which i shouldnt.

yet, there are more to see. there are more things to do. to help me grow. all the experiences will make me a better person. bitches? talking about people? let them be. theyve never been in my shoes. They never knew what ive been through. They are just immature girls pretending they are soooo wise and know everything! instead they are just a bunch of loosers!. Or perhaps some people pretending they understand me, but they are not!.as if they could read people’s mind. Haha. Ouh yeah, those pack of wankers. Who are like bitches. Know nothing but shits. They belong to the same group. i dont give a damn anyway.

Now, ive gotta make the most out of it.3 months time. Shouldnt waste any. Come on mieza go!!!…
-appreciating every single thing means that u accept the God’s will-

Tuesday, August 1, 2006

news auf deutschland



There u go germany. I had a really great time there. I love the people, the environment ..ahhh everything. World Cup had spiced up the whole Germany!. so i was there at the right time. First arrived in Taipei airport (the most shittiest international airport ive ever been). Fark…6 hours there.its killing me. Then, Frankfurt. 13 hours flight. couldnt sleep, kept on thinking about what should i do when i first saw Nils. Yeah i was sooo glad to meet Nils again. He is more charming than ever. Next, 2 hr drive to baumberg.

Now, its nearly 2 weeks im back in brissie. I am missing germany soo much.especially my baby…mwah mwah luv u. It is pretty sad that i didnt make the most of it. I regret that we didnt spend much time together..damn it. Now, its been 8 months we are together..and the feelings grow more stronger. I love him even more than ever. I come to realize that he is the one ive been looking for. But time will tell. I’ve seen his life, and im satisfied.enough.


Anyway, world cup had made the people went crazy. Me? football? dont suit at all. But because of World Cup a.k.a Weilt Meister, i became one of football fans!. believe it or not, i was never able to kick a ball, but now, hahhaha…i am a good ball kicker(literally!).hehe…so, i went to see the games in Cologne, i think all of the matches were: germany vs sweden, germany vs argentina and Australia vs italy. The rest, quarter finals and final were at some friends’ places.

Damn, i cant believe how responsive the people were. Everywhere u go, u could see the spirit of football. thousands of people on the streets, here and there. I was kicked, pushed and stomped on everytime germany scored!.Anyhow, i was excited about it.
Damn, Dom in Cologne is really amazing, its like 509 steps up to the towers!!..my jaw dropped for few minutes. I am totally amazed!!..the view, especially the rhine river, was really really beautiful!.if it wouldnt be too hot….i would just take off my clothes and lay on the grass!..but yeah, germany was way too hot for me. im like a burnt meat!.

So, where did i go apart from cologne?…hmmm.yeah, duesseldorf (my favourite city)..i like Altstadt (means old town). the streets full of shops and bars and restaurants. i could spend hours alone, indulging myself with the food (pizza!!yeah), also shopping…its like a small little paradise!!!…hmm ok…next, is duisburg. here where i met an ex schoolmate a.k.a my good friend from malaysia. I envy her living in germany, how i wish it could be me!!.It is pretty sad, i didnt catch up often with her because shes busy with studies and stuff.

The people made me wanna write something about them. So here are the wonderful people ive met.
Tina, heike and marion are wonderful moms who made me feel so comfy there!. They are like my own mom…So, hang out with them couple of times. It was great. they treated me so well!. lukas? nils’ younger brother. i like him. He’s cool and he’s a singer! gut. Horst? he’s a great dad. I adore him for how he deal with the family. So, what can i relate him to nils..—>"like father like son"..hehehehhe…think about it..

I did catch up with some of Nils’ friends. They are wonderful and fun people. One funny thing, they address themselves as "arschloch" means asshole. I did unintentionally called them by that.
Marius? a sweet boy who i think is a funny guy, who could go crazy when he’s pissed. Mateusz? a german boi whos now look like an English guy with bald head. Flow? a good looking guy who drove us here and there when everyone’s pissed. Sven? a nice guy whom i went to watch football match at his place. Sveni? the farking tall guy!!..Pia? an ex of nils. kaya? a guy whos crazy about kungfu. Dobrawa? a sweet girl who happened to be kaya’s girlfriend. Bernd? the rich kid who worked his ass out and own a Merz. Shit. i cant recall everyone….Ouh yeahhh Sascha!!!! The punk boi who got striking red-blond hair. Ive been missing him because he was my buddy when he was in Oz. i love it so much to see him bubbly and crazy. I remember, the day we sat by the river drinking and stuff. me, nils, sascha and bernd. We both saw the most shiniest shooting star ever!!!….oh yeah, of course i wished something when it passed by!. definitely!.i hope my dream will come true!Amien.

yeah, sitting by the rhine is the most romantic thing ever!. Nils and I went there nearly every night on the last week i was there. Damn. We talked about shits and stuff, which is good. because, we didnt spend time discussing things properly like what we did on one particular night. Such a really mature- conversation. *sigh*..im missing him now.
Ouh yeah, another favourite activities : feeding the ducks & swans and walking through the English garden in Benrath. hehehe. romantic though.

Saw this roman old building. Im totally captured by the old buildings everywhere!. I cant believe that i have witnessed the old buildings…hundreds or perhaps thousands of years?….damn…first time though. Of course im like a korean who’s like "…whoooaaahhhh" all the time.
ah, too many things to write. Im a lazy ass. Okai. Bye for now.

A promise from me: I’ll be back in germany..Someday..soon!!…