Relieved.

Hm. finally, sleepless nights, working my ass out is now over. I could take a deep breathe and focus on my next plans. Okay. next week mom and dad will come.Yeah.can’t wait for that.

Damn, now i’ve gotta clean up my room. Things are all over the place. Last night, i went out to embassy after submitting my assignments. Catch up with those st. lucians. It was okay..not too bad. 3 hours was enough. I m glad i was behaving and controlling myself.i didnt go beyond my limit. (Ah, im proud of myself!.yes). Yeah, i could say that i’ve been longing and missing having a night out. This is just the beginning. Nicky promised me to go out having fine dining at pane vino and to have some drinks at the beach house. He better should!

ahhh *moaning*…im so lazy now..
trying to upload assignments on email for julia. Damn, why she makes it hard for me??the fifth time. i dont know what s wrong with the internet!! dah upload byk2, pegi disconnect..Sial!
Hmm…aduh, my baby is mad at me now. Hmmm..what should i do? he’s not convinced of me.Damn. Why?He should actually already know/understand me. I think he is. But hes just doubt about certain things. Ah. maybe, whatever it is, i think i dont need to explain things too much. Its not important. I trust him, he should trust me. whatever i do, i know the limit that i set myself. just one thing for sure, i love him more than i love myself.

Now, i wanna get things ready. Tonight im going to watch a movie. Perhaps, take the lead or thank you for smoking. Just wanna ease my soul out.Need to ‘mend’ it from all the craziness of life.aha, perhaps do a movie marathon. Ah, tak kesah lah.

Damn, i talk craps. (it shows that im bored and im stupid now). sebab, i just can’t think of writing long sentences now. Malas. My brain is no longer functioning for academic stuff or even to think of anything.
Gerak kaki ikut rentak lagu, gerak tangan ikut rasa hati.
Okla, assignment pun dah settle di upload. Jenuh menunggu. Now its time to do other things, or perhaps grab some food?
*I love my boo with all my soul.

a week to go..

Damn, i cant believe that its now mid year. I mean, the memory of touring Oz is still fresh in my mind, n i feel like, it was just over. Now, i have gone through another one semester. and there’s only a semester awaits for me. Then, fly home..phoaaa..cant believe that.

Anyway, been very busy and slaving my ass doing assignments. But i think my brain is not functioning anymore. My minds now on holidays. Looking forward to mom and dad to come over and then fly to germany (doubt about this though). Too many distractions, sleepless night, miserable life and stuff. *sigh* a deep breathe..Okay mieza, a week to go, then u can relax!!..

Hmm…pretty sad that there are so much doubts bout my relationship. Do i trust myself? Maybe. Im a fragile girl. Emotionally and physically. Thats why I have to be strong. Otherwise, i will burst into tears and break down. I will feel hopeless and i know that the window is wide open for me to jump to level 4. I think i will do it if dah gila betul.

Isk. Isk. Isk. S.O.S pls!!

S.O.S

well, things are hard now. Everything is shaky…im not so sure what went wrong.My life, my relationship and so on. Some people would say that, yeah good on her. But whatever. But yeah, admit that was my mistake. If only i would be more passion and behaving. But hey, I am behaving. Telling things on my mind, doesnt really mean i wanna do it. Its just a way of expressing the feelings ive got. Anyway, things about me, u dont find any fake or fancy stuff about me. I’ll just act towards things that i think I should go for and give my point of view towards certain things. Im a lil bit confused about whats going on and whats on my mind. Maybe too much preassure and stuff. But i will try to overcome all those shits that happen to me.

Tonight, it was a really good nite. Went out for a cup of coffee and ended up in the casino. But hey i dont gamble. I love liveband. So, Liam and I thought that we just wanted to have a look which band was performing. Yeah, we are good friends. Nothing more than that. So stop bitching about me hangin out with my mates. Anyway, I felt sooo happy. Lucky we did the right thing. I really enjoyed the performance by "The Vibe". A duo from Sunshine Coast. Just all those old songs and some pop blues, jazz, ballads and rocks. Damn. 2 hours. But worth the time.Well, pretty sad, just thought, if only that could be Nils.*sigh*. Its alright, we talked about music stuff that really interest me much. Yeah, Liam is a good friend of mine, He always reminded me, b careful of being ‘picked’ up. Yerp, again, it s unavoidable. But i dont really care, coz im not interested in anyone.

Now I miss my baby so much. Saying I love u is not enough, it worths to show it. Something has made him realize about ‘reality’. Living in reality. Yup. I dont know whats on his mind. I just hope that things are alright for him now. I just cant wait to see him again and get back to his arms. Anyway, if in case he reads this, I want him to know that the only person i admire and love is him. no one could ever replace him. He’s been the best ive ever had.

Ah , i need to get some sleep now, tomorrow i have to go to class and work !!!..damnn…

*life is like a box of condoms,u dont know which one comes right and which one will tear off.
Hugs and kisses to my love.